I Know I'm Who I Am Today Because I Knew You

ok quick simple and short

friday woke up with no voice.
after a day of torment from friends screaming
"what speak louder"
and from teachers
" omg the transvestite is back"
*puts hand in air to answer question sir looks over and turns away then i squeak
"SIR"
"oh sorry i didnt hear you kirra what was that squeak down the back?"
"Fuck you sir" ......he just laughed -_-'
and of course Mrs Verter
"kirra whats up with you?"
"i have no voice"
*quietly* " YES!"

then friday night i left for canberra to see courtney, paul and jazzy for courtneys birthday.
went to dinner
italian so therefore nice =)
saturday means shopping, so mum took me to DFO and Brand Depot. Didnt buy much but it was fun, came home slept and then woke up and spent the day going from msn to watching desperate housewives back to homework then msn back to homework

monday means work

while tuesday means MADD night.
ive invited a couple of people and have to buy a couple of last minute tickets.....IVANA lol
but it should be fun =) i always love performing, gives me that extra boost in confidence and always makes my grandfather proud of me =)
so thats it for now.
back to homework
xoxo
KirRawr

I Could've Danced All Night And Still Have Begged For More =)

That title pretty much sums up this past 2 days....
funny shit
LMAO
after a couple of laughing sessions with Matthew dragoslav that shall remain nameless. i went to work.
like i said i love work.
i spent sometime when not at the window serving bitching and having fun convosations with colleen and bianca =)
....TRAMP! LMAO
anyways so that was the entertainment for the night =)
went to school with a massive energy boost =)
great day....
i cooked today in hospo...that wasnt that nice but then i had my MADD night auditions...got in...score =)
so its gonna be the same song i sung last sunday
well i got work in 1 hour another tuesday night with clean-up butttttt it should be fun =)
i just relised i use =) wayy too much but im just in such an awesome mood atm that =) is the best thing ever!. LMAO
see after everything that has happened, i really don care what people think of me anymore....dont like my personality?, my awesomeness?, or the way i can be friendly with people without wanting anything more to come from it? well haha thats your loss not mine.
see i sometimes judge people, but this only happens when im really stressed or not in the best of moods, but i try to give them a chance because they may be one of the greatest people ive met =)
and honestly you can call me whatever you want, slut, whore, bitch, stuck up, brat, tramp, worthless and honestly i dont really care =)
ive learnt to deal with whatever comes my way =) and handle it in a mature way =)
so take this into consideration =)
ttfn =)
xoxo
KirRawr

Kiss Me Goodbye Im Defying Gravity

well been a while since a last blogged...but heres the update in quick form...

• drama
• singing
• school
• work
• wicked
• drama
• singing
• party
• work
• school

it pretty much continues like that....

soo im gonna start from the last thursday that passed....

i went to the ballet with mum and rob, it was entertaining...men dancing in tutu's...never thought i would actually see that =P

soo after my entertaining thursday night came the fun art workshop, where i spent the day painting with different mediums...alot of fun, except most of my pictures that were meant to look like a rams head or seed pods, came out like penis'...what can i say im talented...LOL

anyways

friday night saw one of the best nights, Nickelback live at acer arena with a full concert expirience....

i felt like i V.I.P walking around with my pass, appitisers and free drinks before the show, first access to the arena so i was right up the front followed by free ice cream afterwards =)

the concert was awesome, chad is gorgeous and winked at me =)...id be his groupie anyday ;), they had awesome pyrotechnics and even beer o clock....this involved chad throwing cups of beer into the crowd and making the crowd smell like beer while trying to get drunk with the drops that were left in the cup...but the night was ruined by 2 girls high on extacy with their shirts off...no guys they still had their bra's on...

saturday came an eventful day of making invites to my sisters engagement party...oh yea my sister finally got engaged after 5 years soo congratulations bella =)

soo invite making, then having to restick diamontes on to a top hat so they wouldnt fall off on saturday night at my comp.

while getting ready for my comp i

• burnt my chest with a curling wand
• screwed my eyeliner up and poked my eye with the pencil
• sprayed hairspray in my eye
• put a hole in my stockings
• and ran out of time so i had to put the rest of my makeup on in the car....

though i made it there on time, i failed really badly...just after going on for my warm up i became short of breath and hyperventilated...and no it wasnt nerves...

now dont get me wrong i still skated well, emotionally, but physically i was not in the best of shape that day.

so i left not sure what i came, came home had a shower, checked facebook and went to sleep for the next day.

the concert.

i was up at 6:30am today to be at camden by 8:00 for a sound check when my concert didnt start till 10:00

but either way, i went, waited a while listening to my song, done my make-up and got dressed to walk down stairs to find eloise...once glance and she came over just to comment on my appearence...=) i love my singing teacher the best person ever =)

i went to help with the wigglebugs to help them get ready for their dances while trying to warm up.

so it was my turn on stage, i sung really well got alot of stares from a certain person....LOL, and eloise said my performance skills were excellent i only had to work on my breathing.

so it was backstage till the finale were it was over 30 degrees on the stage and i had to stand there with a black full length dress -_-' hot...i think so.

so after my concert i walked out to find my grandfather with that proud look in his eye making my self confidence boost just a little :) and he took me out for lunch as well :) ohh yea

so i came home, much cooler i say, done some hw (it always comes up in a blog) then went over to matthew dragoslav's place for his dads b'day, i spent most of the night playing mario kart with him and eating cake....LOL

then came home went to sleep, got up and went to school........ugh

too hot 2day.....and in the words of chad "i love australia, theres just one thing missing........o-zone"

well thats all for now... gotta get ready for work

xoxox

KirRawr

I Dont Believe You

a boring week ahead, and left behind me.....plans have been changed continuously..and pretty much the only thing keeping me going is helping my sister organise her wedding...
november 20 2010
1 year and so much to do...
im going to a bon fire tonight should be fun...but honestly im just in the sulky mood i am always in....
i got skating in 1 hour....1/2 hour of gliding on the ice to try and make myself feel better about myself...with my coach telling me what to do....i do love my coach..im just not in the mood for it 2day...
i got pinks funhouse tour dvd....josh gave it to me for my birthday....i fell in love with it..
then comes my ranty bit...
im sick of maturing too quickly...i just want to be a kid again when fights lasted 5 mins and the hardest thing to do was what toy to play with....
im sick of growning up
im sick of maturing
i want to be a kid again
i hate this!
eh screw this...no one probly reads it anyway
im going
bye

When A Heart Breaks No It Dont Break Even

So yes it has been a while since i last blogged...again..continuing though...

so im noe on holidays (Y) have been since tuesday (Y) i love finishing exams early =)

so saturday night mum decided to go out for dinner so we went to simons, the best chinese food ive tasted =)
so while getting dressed i get a call from matt asking if i wanted to go out...i couldnt make it unfortunatly...so after a little chat i got off the phone to find my ring tone going off, i had gotten a msg from kim asking what i was doing...confused i went to go reply when suddenly she walks through my door with a what dont you reply to msg's these days? lol
little did she know i was just about to send the msg.
so me and kim spent some time talking and bitching before dinner....she also helped me pick out somthing to wear and let me borrow her shoes....only if i let her borrow mine i agreed of course (i still have her's and she still has mine) i still dont know who got the better deal there =P
so i was ready make-up done and i went to walk out to get int the car and i got called over to go in the car with kim and josh, i accepted quickly =)
so the ride there was about josh speeding and nearly killing us about 3 times before sexy bitch came on the radio and me and kim started singing it and yelling it at random cars (Y) haha freak show ftw!

so we got to dinner and kim finally had chinese for the first time and taught her how to use Chop sticks =) i still feel awesome for this.
so we got desert and talked for a little while, then we left, me josh and kim in josh's car again...this time it was everytime we touch by cascada haha!

R.I.P Random Rabbit On The Road....

yes josh hit a rabbit on the way home, me and kim were speechless...

we got home and then kim had to leave to get back home so yea this ends saturday night...

monday = 2 exams NEXT

tuesday = 2 exams but finished still NEXT!

wednesday = AWESOME

i got told by josh that kim had an extra ticket for the script concert that night and that it was mine =D
so i was excited all day, then i went to singing came home and saw Kim and finally met Chelsea, Awesome girl as well =)
we spent all afternoon laughing at the simpsons and laughing at stupid stories we told each other, then we got ready and kim done chelsea's and mines make-up while listening to lily allen and kim bouncing over my room dancing to her LOL

we left to go to enmore theatre and most of the convo was as we were going down parramatta road lauging at the Nikki Webster school, some of the ugliest wedding dresses, and some of the most gorgeous ones, and of course passing a pole dancing place and me and Kim both start talking about how much we wanted to try it...(some weird looks from my mother here as well)

we arrived at enmore and Kim went off to go get some smokes so me Chelsea and josh went inside, we lost josh instantly and ran as close to the front as we could get about 10 minutes later Kim joined us and we started dancing to the random songs being played...

Wes Carr came on as the Supporting act, and Kim yelled " INVEST IN A RAZOR!!!" which sent me and chelsea into stitches, and then spent the rest of the time commenting on his excellent seizure dancing and jacket that looked like it was too small for him...all we knew were 2 songs from his album and we sung them too.

Finally he finished and then we went back to talking while they set up for the script...
they placed some towels on the stage and then without even thinking the ditzy oldies nexted to us started a convosation about why there were towels placed on the stage....this question was repeated over and over again....and then more joined with Have you ever heard the script? do you think they will play songs from their album? and more stupid questions...this had us in laughter and kept us entertained till the script came out.

it was about 9:30 before the script came on and played so AWESOMELY! LOL
everyone was singing breakeven, together we cry and before the worst, then their 2nd last song was I'm yours...*brings phone out and pretends to have a lighter* AWESOME SONG! and next time i got to a concert, im sooo taking a lighter!
the ended with We can be hero's and Danny came out with an Irish flag with Sydney written on it then jumped into the crowd...im sooo bumed i didnt get his flag either.
The concert was awesome and i had the greatest time it would have to be a great start to my holidays =D

2morrow night i have black eyed peas....i hope this is a good concert.. *fingers crossed*

till next time though
xoxo
KirRawr

Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi Ce Soir?

I hate renaissance music...WITH A PASSION!....honestly the worst movement in music history....

baroque wins the best movement in classical music by far, but noooo that was the next movement so i cant sing anything from that...
anyways...the day started out with me wanting to get up and study a bit more before my exam, that failed, i slept through my alarm, waking up at 10....i was meeting amy at school at 11....so i got dressed, studied a bit and went out to find mum and rob were still asleep. shit. so allen said he'd take me....so i got in the car, no petrol. hoped in another and it worked, but then we got to the gate and of course the gate had tripped out. i was stuck in the house. clock slowly ticking away...so pop turned up and thank god he did, so he took me and i made it to school with 30 minutes to spare till my exam...i was gonna spend this time studying, but i saw amy, channy and ben, and me channy and ben went for a walk....next!
so my music aural exam was an EPIC fail (Y) but it only counts towards 30% of my final mark....so i gotta make it count 2morrow, which brings me to 2morrow...
Music Performance.
so the line-up is as follows
get to school early to practise with amy
perform the following

• Small ensemble piece-this love by maroon 5
• Renaissance peice- greensleeves
• Film and Tv- One day i'll fly away-moulin rouge

im looking forward to the last one particuarly (Y) only because of my obsession with moulin rouge atm...i never really had a movie that has inspired me to do somthing with my life, but i think ive finally found one....

So 2morrow is my last exam for the week. looking forward to a weekend of studying...yay.. but it will all pay off when they are finished, only because next wednesday mum is taking me to get fitted for a corset dress (Y), 3 days off then holidays (Y), Black Eyed Peas concert friday night(Y), vitchets 18th (Y) then ryans the following week (Y) oh and of course going to the city with Amy to allens music to find a peice for us to perform at MADD night.

looking forward to the 2 parties if i havent already said. but this time i intend to act a little more ummm not the way i acted last time?...hopefully...this promise to myself will probly be broken though. still cant look some people in the eye. *shakes head*

i hope this weekend is a nice hot sunny one...i feel like tanning outside again while studying of course.

but hmm MADD night....i think im regretting giving into kelly and agreeing to perform. i dont know what to sing, i cant sing what i normally sing, i wont be seen as a normal person then...well im not seen as normal now but anyway continuing past that. if anyone has any sugesstions, i would take them into consideration.

so it's 9:41 and i should be going to bed, but im not tired....so im gonna write a little more....

but i dont know what im going to write about....hmmm

well my costume ideas for artistic...that seems good....well this is the main reason im getting the corset, but im not gonna pay that much money for a corset and not use it again soooooooo i will probly wear it to death by the end of the year =D im excited about getting a corset, ive always wanted one...i somewhat like that hourglass figure made by corsets...i'd love to have one...just not tiny tiny tiny....i nice decent sized waist i think.

but i probly wont get the waist i want...i can still dream though cant i?

and honestly this internet is pissing me off because its soooo slow atm....-_-' like very slow!

welll i got nothing else to say...

soo um yea

PEACE!

xoxox

One Day I'll Fly Away, Leave All This To Yesterday....

ok so it's been a while since i last blogged but hey ive been sick and also got exams (not that i care so much about them anyway) so gimmie a break.
and im not in that good a mood either, so stop here if you dont want to read a blog filled with winging and ranting.
so the last "adventure" i had was my birthday weekend. well i got back to school got a cold, listened to teachers go on about exams have 2 days off, go back listen to more teachers go on about exams and then spend time at home....exciting isnt it?

well saturday was miss amy's surprise party and bugger off party which me and my friends organised. she enjoyed it, i love her, marija and me were being slutty whores, (i love this girl =]) and people stared at me and my mgb singing in italian, perdono ftw.
channy made her a penis cake (surprise lol) and brad lap danced amy....dirtyy whore.

sunday was spent sunbaking and studying...exciting again ey?.

then monday began the preliminary examinations.....visual arts first off, the subject where i can say anything and get marks as long as im able to back up what im saying, then the stupid english exam which i more than likely FAILED.
FAIL
FAIL
FAIL

then came the fun part of the day.
work
work gives me money
work also annoys me
but when i work with the people i do
work is the best place i could be.
judy, sam, jade, jarrod, lisa, these guys make a tuesday night fun (Y)
from cheese and pepper mayo tortillas to "accidently" making the wrong drink, just so we get to drink them. each moment at work is sooo much fun.
but the best moment from work has to be judy's kfc bun sized racks and my burger bun racks. we love each others racks =]
oh yes and my wonderful burn marks from the deep fryers, i got so many, my manager told me to stay away from the deep fryers.

i had wednsday off so mum decided to take everyone to yum cha. yum much?
and i came home only to get changed and back out to penrith for skating.

I LOVE MY COACH

she always makes me feel better and is always there if i need her. i never wanna change my coach she's too awesome to lose.

so i started my artistic program today, sparkling diamonds from moulin rouge, and we are only into the into and im already blowing kisses to the crowd and judges and shaking my boobs for skating mums....hmmm.
but none the less this will be my favourtite program. i only need to find a corset dress, which mums taking me to newtown to find one which will probly be worn to death by the time the comp comes around.

only 1 more week of exams then its ryan and vitchets party, which im excited about cause it means i can let my hair down and have some fun, and also show a more confident me =].
plus ryan has a hot mum that loves me, so even better =]

and vitchets 18th, i needa find somthing to wear, black and white, i got an idea in mind but i dont know where to find everything.

so the dreaded music aural exam is 2morrow and tbh i dont care if i fail or pass because the performance is worth more.

lately though people have been asking me what i wanna do when i finish school, so like a dickhead i tell them my dreams and my goals in life, and then i get shut down and told that i'll never become anything great and honestly im sick of it. why bother asking if your just gonna tell me im not good enough!. im moving away from here anyway and leaving everything behind me. i will become what i want whether you think its a good idea or not.

oh and before i go theres a certain someone who i know doesnt read my blog but i need to say it anyway. i wasted one year on you and now you want me?....HA! keep dreaming lily expresses the right words for how i feel about you now!

I don't wanna hurt you
'cause I don't think it's a virtue,
but you and I have come to our end.
Believe me when I tell you that I never want to see you again.

And please can you stop calling
'cause it's getting really boring
and I've told you I don't want to be friends.
Believe me when I tell you that I never want to see you again.

How on earth could I be anymore obvious?
It never really did and now it's never gonna happen with the two of us.
I don't understand what it is that you're chasing after,
but it makes me really sad to hear you sound so desperate.
It just makes it harder.

I can see how it's confusing
It could be considered using when I call you up
Straight out of the blue
But I don't understand what else a girl in my positions' to do
Now I know you feel betrayed
but it's been a week since I got laid.
This doesn't mean that I don't think you're a fool
But I don't understand what else a girl in my positions' to do.

How on earth could I be anymore obvious?
It never really did and now it's never gonna happen with the two of us.
I don't understand what it is that you're chasing after,
but it makes me really sad to hear you sound so desperate.
It just makes it harder.
I know it's rather ugly 'cause I know that you still love me
and this isn't any kind of excuse
but I don't love you
I don't love you.